My first real entry is going to deal with the subject of rape.
Rape is far more common than any of us seem to think:
- 1 in 4 Canadian women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime.
- 60% of college males would commit sexual assault if they were certain they would not get caught.
- Only 6% of sexual assault is reported to the police.
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First of all:
- It isn't as rare and alienating as we think. Rape and other forms of assault happen a lot. Which means this isn't something we can continue to ignore the way we do. It doesn't always happen to someone we know, but if you look at those statistics, you can be pretty sure it will some day. Which is why you need to become informed, you need to understand it, and you need to act against it.
- Please, all you people, if something like this happens to you,
report it. Even if you think it will do nothing or the man will never get caught, it will be a weight off of
your shoulders. And you will always know that you tried, that you did SOMETHING. If you do not report your incident, you will regret it.
The subject of rape hit close to home recently. In fact, it hit home. I was raped on February 22nd, 2008. My witness statement follows with the details. It took me almost two weeks to gain the courage to report it, but I managed. I went with a woman from work. She is compassionate, mature, and kind. She was my source for stability. If you need to file a report for something like this, I strongly recommend doing so with a strong, stable woman who cares for you by your side.
I have not completely recovered from my incident, but I can feel myself getting better. Here are some of the things I have done to help myself cope and confront:
- I read
Cunt by Inga Muscio. I can not stress how much this book helped me. I will go into it in further detail in my next entry, but for now I will say that the woman who wrote it wrote with honesty, vigour, and inspiration. She has inspired me to Love being a woman, and to not feel like a total freak for wanting to stay away from men, at least for a while. Read this book.
- I filed a report. I did so with a woman by my side, and filed it TO two women. The key here is, even if you have many close male friends or boyfriends etc, the people who will help you through this incident most are women. It is a phenomenon I can not quite explain, but it is the truth. Men react to the rape of their friends and girlfriends dangerously. They become angry, indignant, self-righteous. This does not help you.
- I talked to my friends, and made sure they knew I needed their support. Once they knew this, they will very willing to give it. Still are. It is crucial to open up, talk about it, allow for others to help you through it. That is, when you feel you're ready to.
- I gave myself things to focus on that made me feel confident and like I had worth. I wrote, I watched Six Feet Under, I read
Cunt, and now I've started this journal. Find something you Love that gives you confidence, that assists you in Loving
yourself.
- I listened to music that pumped me up about life, about myself, about the people I Love.
- I would be kicking myself if I forgot the ever-crucial
STD TEST. Green Tip: Rather than using endless plastic bags, which are evil, stick what you can into your purse, bag, or if you're driving, just carry it to your car and out of it again. Or, if you're planning on buying a lot, purchase and use a reusable tote bag. If you're at the mall and you notice yourself accumulating more bags than you can handle, tell the cashiers you don't need a bag, and stick what you've bought into one of the bags you already have. There is nothing wrong or tacky about this, trust me.
Songness: Stars - The Night Starts Here
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